Remember the good ol days when jokes were funny? Where people sat around and told interesting funny stories? I remember sitting around a literal circle with my 2 older sisters and their friends in Granby, Massachusetts taking turns telling true life funny stories in the middle of a forest (is this kind of thing obsolete now?) Stories that were so funny I remember my head and belly hurting from laughing so hard. What do we have today? Vine? YouTube? Wild n Out? *Sigh
Look I'm not trying to say growing up in my days was better. Filled with a whole lot more conversation and quality time. Yes. But now...even though we've always had and loved coffee, it's like cool now. And where the hell did drinking cold brew coffee come from? Exactly. And now it's rising to be a multi-billion dollar industry. So times change, and we ineveitably have no choice but to change with it. Yes. You too, you weird creep sitting in the coffee shop with no laptop and no phone just drinking a cold brew coffee (guys you gotta actually read and remember my blog posts to follow me here...oh, you are reading these? Use code coolcoffeeblog to get a discount. Boom) Yes, so back to what I was trying to say...true life funny stories. Taking you back a bit to enjoy this experience, I know it's rare my friend. But I got you. This true life story takes place in our old coffee shop in Montreal.
Once there was a customer that I knew well. She came in and ordered the avocado toast, because it's what girls who practice yoga and take food pics and post on instagram before they eat it do. I see her swipe a Mast brothers chocolate bar (yo, those chocolate bars are like hand crafted gourmet bars that will run your pocket $10, don't mess with Mast) Now remember I know her right...and I can't believe it. She's actually trying to steal from our shop!!! What do I do??? We used to run a Jamaican Jerk chicken BBQ in our alley way, called "Evaton Bunup" and I rallied up all our staff who was outside one by one telling them what was going on...and the unanimous decision was to "Nordstrom" her. Do you know the steal deal with Nordstrom? You can steal ANYTHING you want from Nordstrom, they won't cause a scene and you will be able to walk out of the store drama free. But. You will never be able to step back into any Nordstrom Department Store ever again in life. That's the Nordstrom steal deal. Please don't try it, and reference my blog.Lol. So she walked out. No scene. Drama free. Oh, wait...and she ate 3/4 of the freaking avocado toast, complained that it was cold and demanded for it to be free. WHAT???!!! We gave her free. Didn't complain about the cold brew coffee though. She paid for that at least. She never came back. I was waiting for the come back though, not gonna lie. Planned it out in my mind and everything. Oh well, building our shop in Miami now...no "Nordstrom rule". Bitch better run fast.
That was my true life coffee shop story. You probably didn't laugh. But I made no promise my stories were funny. Just true.
P.s. Dear Weird Creep in coffee shop with no laptop + no phone. You can sit at my coffee shop and just drink cold brew or a coffee or an avocado toast. No judgement.